Holding On & Clinging

So last night was my very first concert ever. Yeah, in all my 16 years I haven't been to a concert until now. Someone said to me, "You deprived child", to which I replied, "I survived somehow"...

But yeah, there ya have it- I'm homeschooled. Those 2 words just explained EVERYTHING.

So anyway, this was Tenth Avenue North's tour of their new album, The Struggle. Epic band, epic album, epic concert.

At this event, I was standing there having a blast, laughing at the crazy fan girl standing next to me, really worshiping The Lord, and just really having some good Me & God time. It was fabulous. 

So they did a bunch of songs and the words spoke to me, but they did one song, called Times and I sat there crying. Yeah, great right?? I go to a concert to have a throw-down, lose my vocals & all the other things that go with a concert, not have a meltdown....Just kidding!

So why the heck was I crying????? The song to me, meant that everything God does in your life is with a purpose. The bad things especially. The trials. The hurts. The things that you pray so very badly will pass over you or that God will just take away.
Just to trust Him in those times and not give in to the want to just throw it all away & let it crumble. To stand there & take it, cuz with God you can handle it. With God you can handle anything.
I was/have been on this "Christian High", and then something happened that made me question & ask God "why". I was angry towards Him because when I finally gave myself over to Him, wholly & completely, He decides to "punish" me. WHY???!!! I started to WANT to serve Him, to WANT to love Him,  to WANT to spend time with Him, to WANT to have a relationship with Him, & He wants to reward that with something that's not of God. So, He just lets it happen. WHY??!!
I was about "to throw in the towel" & give up because I was so discouraged & just hollow & empty feeling. It started to affect my friendships, my relationship with my sisters, my relationship with my parents & other people. I was almost to the breaking point, or very close. I needed to know that God is here, but last night, God sent me a reminder that He's there. He always has & always will be. I need that so badly & His impeccable timing was the among the most beautiful things that's ever happened to me.

So that's the thing that I came out with- Letting God have absolute rule & dominion over your life. Even if it goes to the point of ruin & misery. All those Times God is there and has a reason & purpose for that time in your life. Just hold on & wait for the Lord. Stay strong. Keep calm & carry on. Keep holding on. He loves you, just cling to your faith like nothing else.
I know this sounds so cliche' or whatever, and its all so easy to type this, but when you finish reading this just know that it doesn't get easier, but your faith & God makes you stronger.