But, seriously, I have been very abundantly blessed by having so many wonderful, caring, loving, & Godly friends. I'm not really sure where or what I would do without having them to keep me in check... delinquent?? Kidding!!
So I was talking to a friend last night, and we were talking & such & the topic of close friends & friendships came up- How you actually get one, how it works, what should be the center of it, and all the things that are the basis. Then we got to how to be close or have a close relationship with someone who is guarded or has walls. You know, those people who are just so closed off & just have a wall??
Well we continued to talk and such & then I said, "Yeah well being walled up isn't really a deal. Or shouldn't be, cuz if the person can break down the other persons walls, they are a true good friend".
She asked what that meant & what I meant about "breaking down" the walls, so I told her.
But what does it mean to break down walls, earn trust, etc?? Like how do you think you do it?? What do you have to do???
The way to break down those walls, is just simply trust. You have to work hard & earn that trust, and in time & with much persistence they will give it to you. And when they do, it will be the most amazing thing you've gotten. And you'll treasure it too, because you've had to put so so much into it- hurts, tears, sweat, stress, & worries, and all in all, yourself. You had to trade yourself for someone else. And when that trust is given over, the walls will crumble. Because that wall is made of insecurities fear, pain, distrust, and most of all hurts; and you've just proven that you're not ever gonna hurt them. That you absolutely love them & won't hurt them. That don't have to be afraid of getting hurt, rejected, or anything the like.
See, we learn by experience, what to do, not to do, say, not to say, etc. So when we fail at something we take note & know not to do that. So when we are hurt, we build a wall of what to say & what not to say so we don't get hurt. And that wall builds into something that we cling & are attached to. Like a drug, we build a tolerance to it & need it to continue through the day. So it controls our lives. And we turn into something we aren't. We have a mask on basically. And when someone who comes along who cares & loves us so much, that they are willing to tear that mask off, no matter how much you scream & kick & cry. They tear that mask off & they heal the scars & rot of having that mask on with love. They see past your ugly rot & scars, and see someone who is fantastic. And they trade themselves in for you. They give you themselves to show how much they love you. And you learn to do the same. It's really quite magical.
See, that was me. I was 113% just that person. A girl who had played with fire & got burned too many times. So I gave up on people. I didn't WANT to let anyone know me. I didn't WANT to be open & completely vulnerable. I didn't WANT to come out of my comfort zone. Yet, this girl comes along & smashes my walls, disarms my guard, yanks me out of my comfort zone and my armor falls.
Talk about scary. That was the most terrifying thing that I have experienced. After she sees the "real me", I guess she likes me & decides I'm ok to keep around.
But that's the magical part of it- after they learn you inside & out, this friendship, that was already there, just blossoms. It blooms into this beautiful thing where God is centered & you both love Him & have a personal relationship with Him. With that, comes a God centered relationship & friendship, and those are the TRULY successful friendships.
