My New Year

So 16 years ago, I came into this world & I'm not too thrilled with the idea of the "Sweet 16".
I didn't/don't want to turn 16, because being 15 for 365 days, was the coolest thing. I learned so much, did exciting things, met new people, grew in my walk with God drastically, and so much much more.
Yes, there were quite a few bad things in that year, and they hurt a lot; but in the end, most of the things turned out better in some way or another.
Another, and the main reason, I don't want to turn 16 is that it will be another year of my life that I hurt people, sinned, and ruined what God had planned for man in the very very beginning. So another year of knowing that horrible, but inevitable things, is discouraging & disappointing to myself- and also, I know that by the time the next set of digits come around, I will have disappointed God. THAT is the real discouraging thing.
Another slight thing compared to the previous & main reason, is that right now things aren't so great for me. And I'm trying so hard to cling, for dear life, to my faith, God, & His promises; but in it all the idea of starting another year on this note, seems something like an omen or a precedence being set, maybe...

But the thing is, I've to trust God with every fiber in my being & just keep my walk with Him a constant & ongoing effort.
Having a walk with Christ is the most difficult thing humanly possible. Actually, it's not even humanly possible. If not for the Holy Spirit & a supernatural happening, at the time of salvation, we would fail. No, not fail, because fail implies that you actually tried to do something. If we didn't have this little thing called faith with the presence of the Holy Spirit, there would be absolutely nothing to fail at. Our walk with Christ would be nonexistent. So our walk with Christ isn't humanly possible, much less, easy in the least.
So my goal for this next year is to not increase the siZe of my faith, but my faith's quality.
When Jesus said that if I have faith the siZe of a mustard seed, I can move mountains; he wasn't talking about the siZe, but rather the quality.
I want my faith to be Jesus' Quality Standard. :0)